It's not always easy...

So it isn't always easy when you are making decisions about athletes. It most is often so difficult it hurts. You want to give every one of them their dream team, their chance and their moment in the spotlight. But how do we do that for everybody in our program all at once?

There is not an apocalyptical brainwave that will descend and make everyone's dreams come true. Making teams that work takes work. It is dependant on hard decisions and uncomfortable ones at that.

Athletes and parents alike will not always understand the choices that are made when deciding placements, as much as coaches would wish they could, they do not have the knowledge we have of the rules, the progressions and the movement that can occur.

It isn't about what we see right now, it is what CAN be. We have choreo and ideas and themes and music all running around our heads like a tornado, each wanting to be the primary decider. We see promise, ability and dedication every day from the majority of our amazing team members. So how are we to decide what is best? WHO are we to make life altering summations of children's abilities?

We are coaches. We watch our athletes every single session. We see them struggle and succeed, we seem them fail and how they handle it. We appreciate their determination and commiserate at their failure. We adore each and every personality, hoping we can guide them in the right direction to be successful not just in cheer, but in life too. There is no such thing as a perfect human. If there was, the world would be awfully boring.

How do we navigate the storm of team placements?

The answer is mulitfaceted. There is no simple explanation. We as cheer coaches do not have a magic wand to wave and grant us unlimited understanding of of where this season will take us. We have to analyse skills, look at past performance, take in to account performance at tryouts, and listen to our "inner coach."

What have you done this last season?

How did you impact the teams success?

Did you show up with a positive attitude?

Did you help others?

Do you understand the value of working as a team?

How does success or failure affect your ability to learn and the effort you will put in?

What can you bring over and above other athletes that will positively benefit your team mates?

Are you the right age?

Have you go the ability and dedication to make it all the way?

Are you coachable?

Can you be proactive?

Will you inspire others into action?

There are so many questions when making team placements, and it can often be lost in the static of parental concerns.

As a parent and a coach, with the added knowledge of previously being "just" a mum, I can guarantee that wherever your child has been placed has been decided over many sleepless nights, hard decisions, and worry filled conversations.

There is no crystal ball, as much as we would love there to be! There is just us, our experience and our understanding of the sport we love.

We never want to disappoint our students or their families, and we we wish we could give every single one of our athletes all their dream teams each season.

Where do you fit in to the jigsaw? I know as a parent when my eldest child was smaller, I did everything I could to give her the opportunities that would help her cheer and dance journey. When I say everything, i really mean EVERYTHING. She never missed a class, a camp, a masterclass, no matter if it was at our studio or at the other side of the country. One of my friends, who was also Alyssa's coach at the time, did once comment that she was pretty sure I would fly her to the moon if I thought it would help her career. And I would have. It was that simple. She wanted it so much and has never stopped wanting it. It has always been her chosen sport, her passion, her one true love and her career path. There wasn't an option 2 for her. For her it is her life.

Well, thank goodness all those classes paid off, she has achieved what she wanted, and is still aiming for more! At least I can justify all the money I spent on her crazy schedule being worth it on a higher level than she just had lots of fun! But seriously she makes me so proud, and there were times I worried that her dreams might not become her reality, and times where she has lost heart too.

I did always try really hard to trust the process when it came to team placements. I have been secretly disappointed when she hasn't made the level or the team I thought she should. But what I do know now, is she was placed where she was ready for, could cope with and where she would be an asset to her program. It wasn't sometimes easy to read those placement emails out and see her face drop, while keeping mine composed.

I can say with true honesty though, in the position I have today, that her coaches were right with their placings 99% of the time. They had the rubrics and the scoresheets and the experience. I was a mum praying for her child to get what she wanted, and looking back on it now, I should have prayed for her to get what she needed.

So to all the coaches who have ever trained my daughter, thank you for the opportunities at learning you gave us both. To the parents of the athletes waiting to be placed, we really are trying our best.

x

I am sooo grateful

My daughter is opening her own studio!!! An epic achievement and risk in equal measures for such a young woman! At only 20 she has built her business to the point where it demands the space! With classes starting in early May, there is much to be done before we are ready!

I am a naturally authoritative person, with a strong need to be in charge and make sure that everything is perfect, especially when it comes to my daughters. Somehow though I am feeling less pressure with this situation, even though it is the biggest thing my eldest child has ever done without a doubt!

This I think boils down to 2 reasons:

1. We have an insanely dedicated army of parents ready to help. Weather it is painting, cleaning, moving and colleccti9ng things or cheering us on, we are covered as a program. This in itself is a massive boost, knowing that so many people support her in her quest to make a safe space for the children of Bridlington and the surrounding districts. In todays world self confidence does not come easily for our teenagers. They have lived through so much more than we had to.

   Constant contact with the outside world and all its cruelness through the internet and social media platforms, schools that have an ever more constricting way of "educating" our next generation by the minute, the insanely unorganised government we are currently experiencing, not to the mention the fact their young lives were turned upside down and backwards by "the vid"!

   Despite, or perhaps because of this, we have formed a family of like minded individuals and their children, and they are all more than happy to help! I am beyond ecstatic at their generosity and kindness, and our team really is something unique in the way it navigates the journey of its athletes.

2. My daughter. Just her being her. Quite simply it comes down to her inherent belief in what she is building, and how she wants it to be! She has experienced so much amazing coaching in her 18 years, and equally importantly some not so great coaching. All these experiences have helped her know what she was dreaming when she created Phoenix. There is only 1 thing between a dream and a plan, and that's a timeline. Once you add a timeline to a dream, it becomes achievable.

   I have of course encouraged her to follow her dreams all her life. I have "bigged" her up, plugged the holes in her self confidence and had her back all the way, with just about anything she has done. I have ALWAYS told her to do what you love, the money will follow, and I have immense pride in the young adult she has become. Because of her tenacious attitude, and her unwavering belief in what she was creating, she has succeeded where so many others have failed. It has not been easy for her, or me! There have been struggles, doubts, tears along the way. But her path has remained true. She refuses to be swayed by distractions, other opinions (even mine much to my frustration!) Every single decision has been hard thought and done so with compassion.

When you have a baby you have hopes and dreams for what their life will become. Personally I want my daughters to be happy. My husband and I's main goal in life since we became parents has always been this. So far, it hasn't been plain sailing, there have naturally been bumps and massive craters along the way! However she has endured the challenges life has thrown at her with strength and grace, making us ever prouder of the woman who stands before us now.

I cannot wait to see where she is in 12 months, 5 years, 10 years from now. I know it will be exactly where she aims for. Shoot for the moon, the stars will catch you my angel. I will forever be grateful for the gift that is you x

Gimmie more!!!

The sound of year 1 competitive parents.

So many times I have seen first season competition parents demand more from their coaches, the EP's and their children.

If I could give you one piece of advice it would be trust the process. Slow down. Enjoy the moment. Just stop and savour this time with your child.

Emotions are always heightened when it comes to our children, it's natural to want them to succeed. But how much is too much? How far is too far to push them? Where is the barrier between brilliance and burnout?

It is a fine line to walk, and the answer is different for each athlete. For my eldest child nothing was too much. She trained 6 nights a week and complained about my Friday night vito on classes. There seemed to be no limit to her quest for excellence. It was only at my insistence that she had one night a week to destress and just be.

My youngest is so very different. She is a wild free spirit that loves cheerleading, but equally loves so many other things, and some days I have to remind her of the commitments she made to here team.

Each has its own challenges, and beauty. I have so many blissful memories of training, late night maccies and shows of strength from my eldest daughter, and equally many treasured times of wild adventures with magical creatures and past bedtime conversations with my youngest.

Both have their merits and their downfalls, but I wouldn't miss a second of either. It is a testament to the versatility of cheerleading, and proof that there really is a place for everyone within its ranks. Cheer doesn't judge you on the ability of your body, but on the strength of your mind, no matter what category your brain happens to fall into, there is a space on the mat for your authentic self.

I have met so many athletes over the years. The naturally talented, the kids who had to WORK and hustle to keep their spot. The ones who coasted and the ones who would trade a sibling to be on mat. It doesn't matter who you are, it matters why you are there. If you have passion and drive nothing can stop you. A very famous cheerleader once said "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard"

So what if the talented children who don't need to work so hard weren't at practice? Who would the ones with less natural gift aspire to be? What if the hardworking athletes didn't attend, who would the talented children have to watch their backs and keep pushing for?

The fact is, there isn't a single spot on that mat that can be taken out of a routine and not be missed.

That isn't to say every athlete is essential. Everyone is replaceable. The hard fact is that there will always be someone standing in the wings waiting to jump into a spot as soon as it has been vacated.

So if you are expecting, requesting and sometimes demanding more from your coaches,

on a regular basis, remember that they have a team full of parents with opinions and thoughts wanting to be heard. They do not have to, and more often than not won't decide to do what you think is best. Your coaches are thinking about so much more than what will make one athlete happy.

They have a whole program of children to consider, as well as the success or failure of their business. They have their reputation in their own professional community to think of, something they have often spent the entirety of their life building up. They cannot and should not be asked to put the fate of their company in the hands of a child, simply because you want them to be point jumper, or a flyer or have a solo.

EPs often get a bad rap from parents, because of course you want your child to win, but if you are going to complain about a placing, you best make damn sure you understand the rules first. Your team might have harder skills in their routine, but they could be messy. Another team might have a less demanding routine, but they could execute it so well that their score beats yours! Competition is a time to practice grace and humility, not to make the children in a program feel they have disappointed you.

So, please remember that if you know you have selected to correct program for your child, you must trust the process. Trust the coaches, and trust your athlete!

x